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Barney, labeled the Country-fried Redneck, one of Jared's characters. He is a New Yorker with a heavy accent who tends to appear in the most bizzare prank calls. He is usually drunk, though not always. It is implied that Barney does not have a GED.

Barney is a family man with good intentions, however he almost never gets precisely what he is bargaining for as he is not the wisest tool in the shed. Despite being dumber than even Michelle Collensworth, Barney is pure of heart. His attitudes typically change from indifference to confusion to frustration in almost all of his calls. Despite knowing that he does not have a GED, Barney would do whatever it takes to provide for his family.


In Barney Barnes and Nobel, Barney needed assistance in order to build his barn. He decided to call Barnes and Nobel and ask the clerk if they carry any books that would benefit him. He was disappointed when the clerk assured him that they did not carry such books, but they did have books on how to construct a shed. Barney continuely asked him if the books specifically showed how to build a shed which annoyed the clerk. Barney then gets confused with building (the act of constructing) and building (a structure) eventually, the clerk got fed up and gave up on Barney completely, claiming that he had made a mistake and they have absolutely nothing with constructing a shed. He then disconnected the call, leaving Barney officially confused and barn-less.


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